Hurrah. / The Weight of the World

If you caught the Vols game against Florida last week, well you’ll know why there's no complaining here! It was a good game, and no true Tennessee fan took the winning score for granted until the clock was out. (We've learned by experience!) And even though I've started this site to be all goofy-funny-thoughtful, like I normally am, today, I'm feeling a little more turquoise than orange.

Last night, I went out for a drink with some friends. A nice, not too shabby sort of establishment, but really only one notch above your regular, neighborhood bar. And halfway through the evening, I went to the ladies'. Normally, nothing remarkable about that, right? Well, when I came out of the stall, there was an attendant there, which seemed a little odd, given the shabbiness of the restroom. Then, I noticed that she seemed really young. And a little too cheerful. She had an array of bottles and candy spread out at the end of the counter, and she had way too much makeup on. She offered me candy or perfume, and I politely declined. Then as she handed me a towel to dry off my hands, I actually looked at her. I don't know what it was, but there was something unusual there. Whenever I've encountered bathroom attendants before, they’ve seem like older, beat-down women. Tired and bored. This young girl had some hope in her eyes. And actually seeing hope in a dirty pub bathroom hurt. I fumbled around in my purse and realized I had no money, so I left. But back at the jovial table, I couldn’t get her off my mind. I asked my husband for a few dollars—"trust me"—and went back to the bathroom. I stopped, winked, and handed her the money and told her to "be well." (What a dork! Be well? Like *that’s* going to help!) But, I didn't know what to say. She seemed very happy and surprised I'd returned (how many people do that?). In the end, she's haunted me through the night and into the next day. I think I may have actually recognized her from a ministry I participated in a while ago. In any case, I'm bugged. Not to wax melodic a la John Lennon on you, but there’s too much damn hurt and lonliness in the world! Who's taking care of all these people? I’m almost certain that little girl was homeless and possibly prostituting herself when she wasn’t working as a, possibly unwelcome, bathroom attendant. She seemed to be getting by well enough, but does she have someone to look out for her?

I've always known that I’ll work well in a "helping" profession, but I've always hesitated because I'm not sure if I can avoid carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've watched my husband develop a healthy discerning eye to distinguish between the people who need him and the people who think they need him. How am I going to do that? How am I going to serve God and his people without losing myself?

And most of all, what more could I have done for the little girl in the bathroom?

[Soapbox 1] What is this blog?

As you can see, this is a brand-spankin new blog, and it is still figuring out what it wants to be. Being new to blogging, I thought I'd take two of my top interests, theology and Tennessee Vols' Football (in the fall anyway), and mesh them together. And yes, that will continue. But, as I've been meandering about looking at a few other blogs, I've been able to flesh out more of a vision for this page. It's still percolating, so when I get there (in about a month), you'll read about it here! I've found some pretty cool stuff and some pretty cool people in blogging communities, though. I've found some old acquaintences from my HDS days, Philocrates and Randall,and I've been lurking on a number of interesting blog sites, including these in Ktown, South Knox Bubba and Knoxville's self-proclaimed Onion. Quite amusing! But, despite all the fun, I have some reservations to overcome before truly embarking on this blogging enterprise.

Because I work in the publishing business, I am reluctant to write. I see completely unnecessary words everyday, and I feel strongly that you should not waste others' time and valuable resources if you do not have something very important to say. (Of course, whether or not you have something important to say is completely subjective, and in academic publishing, authors are given this validation by their cronies at other institutions.) But, in order to even begin writing for publication, an author has to think that what s/he's saying is important enough for others to use their time to read and understand it, and OFTEN in academic publishing, that is simply not the case. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for learning for the love of it and for empirical science, but I run into authors all the time who think that they deserve readers, and that they deserve to have an entire team working to polish and publish a manuscript that they didn't have the time to read twice themselves. They feel entitled to a copyeditor who will correct the spelling of and standardize the style of their own thoughts. They feel entitled to an assistant who will try to track down permissions for their afterthought-figures. They feel entitled to a designer who will try to improve their scans, images, figures, and cater to their every typeface whim. And most of all, they feel entitled to readers who will pour over their every word and adopt their methods (don't contradict them unless you have credentials, because they "won't have time" to respond--too busy with the next book). All of this has, yes, made me very cynical about academics. I really don't think that most of the works that my massive institution publishes are worth the expense. I think that authors are often honestly surprised that their books sell only to libraries and colleagues. And I think in this "publish or perish" world, academics are encouraged to develop terminal cases of logahrrea.

But here I am, writing a weblog? Well, I've begun to rationalize this enterprise that runs counter to some strongly held opinions in two major ways. First of all, a weblog is electronic, which makes it in a certain sense, ephemeral. I'm not here for posterity, trying to get my name into Harvard's Library catalog. My 1997 webpage is no longer around, and I don't expect this blog to last much longer than the present stage of my life, either. Second, I don't use a great deal of resources to put this out there. There's no team of individuals that I expect to respond to my thoughts. In fact, I'd bet that less than a dozen people will ever really read it. I am participating in the weblog phenomenon because I think that it is democratic. Everyone who has enough money to have access to a web connection regularly can have one. It is, to me, the equivalent of taping journal entries to a busstop--just for the fun of it. Hence, I can't help but try it.

Just heaven help me if I get addicted and decide one day that my thoughts are worth formal publishing. :)

Was there a personal foul that was not committed/called in this game?

Yowzers! You know it's bad when you say "at least we won." There was some good football in that game somewhere, but the amount of penalties and personal fouls was astounding! Leave the face masks alone already! Then there were the sacks... ouch, ouch and *OUCH*! It was a dirty game, but not as bad as some I've seen. Whew, boy, looks like we're in for some nailbiters and demoralizers this season. But just let us keep with the winning streak for a while, okay God? :)

Personal fouls... everytime I hear someone deal a low conversational blow or perpetuate nasty gossip, I'd like to have the authority to call a personal foul! "5 day penalty for the offence, repeat conversation, guard down" I could develop a whole system and apply personal fouls to group dynamics: Face mask penalties-- words so sharp and harsh that they cause you to miss the big picture and redirect your attention to the pettiness at hand. Dead ball foul, unecessary roughness-- refusal to participate in the planning process, only to step forward with objections just as the action is underway. Roughing the kicker-- being obstinate or contrary just for attention, with no concern for the greater group goals, objectives.

See, it's starting to come together slowly. Be patient, and I'll show you how to read the Theology of College Football!

Turn on, Tune in, and SHOUT OUT! Then, go shake it off. . .

Aug. 30 Fresno State at Knoxville 24-6 (W)

Sept. 6 Marshall at Knoxville 3 p.m. ESPN2
This weekend's game to watch: Florida at Miami 7 p.m. ABC
Sept. 7 Thirteenth Sunday after Pentecost

Sept. 20 at Florida Gainesville 11am, CBS
Sept. 21 Fifteenth Sunday after Pentecost

Sept. 27 South Carolina at Knoxville TBA
Sept. 28 Sixteenth Sunday after Pentecost

Oct. 4 at Auburn Auburn 11am CBS
We should play them yearly!
Oct. 5 Seventeenth Sunday after Pentecost

Oct. 10 Robinella and the CC String Band at Schubas
Hometown band makin' it in the big city--A MUST-SEE!
Oct. 11 Georgia at Knoxville TBA
Oct. 12 Eighteenth Sunday after Pentecost

Oct. 25 at Alabama Tuscaloosa TBA
Oct. 26 Twentieth Sunday after Pentecost

Nov. 1 Duke at Knoxville TBA
Nov. 2 Twenty-first Sunday after Pentecost or All Saint's or All Soul's

Nov. 8 at Miami Miami, Fla. TBA
Nov. 9 Twenty-second Sunday after Pentecost

Nov. 15 Mississippi State at Knoxville TBA
Nov. 16 Twenty-third Sunday after Pentecost

Nov. 22 Vanderbilt at Knoxville TBA
Nov. 23 Last Sunday after Pentecost- Christ the King

Nov. 29 at Kentucky Lexington TBA
Nov. 30 First Sunday of Advent

Dec. 6 SEC Championship Atlanta 8 p.m. CBS
Not holding my breath
Dec. 7 Second Sunday of Advent

Up and running only one game into the season. The Vols looked pretty strong in the first game against Fresno State, but then again, it WAS Fresno State. My favorite game stats: "Total attendance at Fresno State football games last year, about 10,000; Attendance at last Saturday's season opener against the Vols, over 103,000 & the first time the Vols have not sold out their season opener since '73!" OUCH!
So this weekend, Marshall. Looks to be an interesting game. Chad Pennington's alma mater against his hometown team. Still waiting to see how this year's team is shaping up. Don't miss kickoff, 3pm cst.